Well, more like the past week. I haven’t been on here in forever, partly because the things I feel/remember/deal with would probably violate a ton of obscenity laws if I spoke as openly about them as I need you to understand. Partly because I don’t want to put them in ink where they have a life of their own. I want to drown the ***kers. Partly because with the DID (multiple personality, for you familiar with older terms) when stuff hits, it ricochets around in six different voices, and I hold silent until we get to a response that won’t blow up our own personal universe. Sometimes it’s because I get lost in the fog, or distracted, and nowhere near internutz, and other times I am near it, but …..
Anyway, this past week has been up and down. A neighbor died, an old friend-of-the-family had to be put down, the roomie STILL hasn’t found a job and plays WOW all day, it’s hotter than hades, I hurt, drank coffee earlier in the week and ended up with MAJOR cramping and pain so bad I missed a session holding my tummy in the bathroom to press whatever muscle or nerve point was acting up. The memories that triggers, the bleeding, the Arts workshop I was in for four days really messed with my controlled persona: I had tears several times, and made someone else SRSLY lose it (we had to talk about stress in our bodies and listening to me … too much…she had lost her husband too).
Budget ceiling concerns, grocery concerns, processing hell, the approach of major WORKitude, financial woes, a beautiful walk in the park. Fights with family, cheap-theater movies to get cool, loneliness, grieving, healing. 
And so it goes.
Back to cleaning!
